Last night was the last resource for this semester. We took time to look over what the Lord has done this semester in our small groups and what we've learned. Kristen said it best; no one ever told me how much I would love these girls. Through all the lessons in LTC that we went over, all that they prepared us for, they didn't prepare me for how much my heart would ache over these women; I wasn't prepared for how broken I could become for the soul of another. The realization of just how little time you have with people can hit so hard when you aren't expecting the end of that journey to finally get here. It's as if all along the way you tell yourself keep going, don't give up, stay steadfast we'll get there someday, but before you know it that day is here and you are saying goodbye and are left with all the things you should have said but waited too long to tell them.
The time God gives us is so precious. It can't be wasted by being too scared that the truth will fall on deaf ears. How will I know they are unable to hear if I don't speak so that they have a chance to respond. If they don't hear my whispers then I speak louder, I shout if I have to. Only then will I know who is listening, only then will they have the opportunity to react. None of us can afford to have their blood on our hands simply because we allowed ourselves to be scared into silence.
What I have learned is that I have never in any relationship, with any boy, had my heart broken like I have had it broken for one of my girls. God has shown me how His heart breaks for his children everyday. It takes a MIGHTY God to be able to handle that much heartache.
This semester I have sewn the seed. Next semester pray that God will reap the harvest.
